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As many of you know from reading these posts I’m a New England and Ct. wedding photographer that enjoys shooting weddings across the country. And since this all began I’ve come to realize that each and every couple feels something different about their day. From the joy to the stress, each wedding and engagement is different. The last post was about the fresh engagement, this post will be about what you should do next. What are the first steps to planning for your big day?
Well, before you even start planning you should enjoy these few weeks of the new “status”… Enjoy that he just “popped the question” and be ready for a heavy dosing of questions. From dates to colour schemes and more. And while the questions will roll in, don’t hesitate to tell those with wonders that you are just taking a few weeks to enjoy the engagement. If parents haven’t met now is surely the time. Get the families together. But most of all, enjoy these few weeks before really running full steam with the planning…
So now what. What are the key steps to planning for your big wedding day???
Before anything else, Plan your budget! Every single piece of your day needs to revolve around this budget so things not only get kept in certain ranges, but also making sure there is a piece of the pie put aside for each and every part of the day. Bring anyone involved in the budget together. It’s no longer up to just the brides side of the family to pay for the day. And weddings are becoming more costly so take the time to sit down and really plan this one out. The budget will really tell you what kind of day you can have. From the amount of guests to venues. This is surely the main key.
The guest list. There are many places to find tips for your wedding day, some of those places will tell you different things about the 2nd step. But think about this, the guest list truly tells you the size of your day. You can’t cram 250 people into a venue that only holds 100, you can’t invite 300 people when your budget on meals will only feed 200… So you need to get this list worked out. It can change a little but before you can make any other contracts work you need to know how many people will be showing.
Next is your wedding venue! Where will your wedding be held. From the ceremony to reception. Now that you have your budget set out, and your guest list, you can decide what locations will fit your needs. From size to pricing, to location. This is key because many venues book out a year in advance. So you really can’t decide on a wedding date until you book your wedding venue, and you also can’t take on any other contracts for the wedding photographer, cake designer and more until the date is set. So VENUE VENUE VENUE….
Once you have these steps in place everything else will start to just flow right along…
Shine on,
~Tim
I may be known as a remarkable wedding photographer from New England but I’m also a wedding photographer that has been and still is married. I was recently chatting with my wife about this and that and a talk came up on planning in general. How tips are great, news is great but where should a newly engaged couple start. It dawned on me that, OMG! I’m writing tips that truly may not matter if you’re too stressed out to deal with them by the time you get to that point… Sooooooooooo, let’s slow down. Lets start basic and work our way up… What do you say?
Let us start together with one of the most emotional struggles women may face. Engagements. One of the most psychological transitions in our lives. With this new engagement may come fear, sadness, anxiety and loss. All feelings that all seem to get overlooked by so many. People would rather ask, when’s the big day, what’s the ring look like, where did it happen! When in reality, it’s those other feelings that need to be overcome if one ever plans to arrive at the alter happy and ready for a life long and love filled marriage.
Feeling a bit lost? Understandable. As women, you are giving up the soul identity you have come to create. With your friends, on your own. You are no longer going to be a single women. You are going to not only give up that single status, A feeling that you may believe is your only relation with your single girlfriends, but you are giving up part of your identity. You will have a new last name (if you choose to take it) and more. All a stage in your life, possibly the only stage you have ever created is going to now be a closed chapter… The loss is understandable but the future is going to be gold!!!
What if you look at that gold and know that as one chapter closes a new one begins. A chapter of love, togetherness and fun! It’s quite possible for a bit of fear to show itself here as you are entering this new chapter which will rely heavily on another individuals commitment as well. Putting your futures happiness onto this other individual partnered with yourself. What if the marriage doesn’t last, what if he cheats on me, what if I cheat on him, what if something happens to me or him, what if the love fades away. These are all thoughts and fears that can come at a bride who even on the outside may seem joyous.
As I mentioned above, as a future bride you’re bombarded with congrats, and what will your dress look like, what will the wedding day be… And more… While deep inside you may be wondering if you’re making the right choice. Is this the right partner for my life? Is this what I truly want? These feelings are normal and you’re better off to find a friend, relative or if need be a DR. to listen to you. Truly listen and help. The other alternative which many people opt for is to take all the planning and let it comsume you as a whole. Not giving those other feelings a chance to come out. The right thing to do?????
All of these thoughts are normal. Don’t worry. Don’t run… They ARE NORMAL! Instead, look back. Look at the years you have already lived and the transitions you have not only made it through but more than likely prospered with. Graduating from highschool and college. Moving out of your hometown. Leaving one secure job for a new endeavor. All of your co-workers, friends and family understood and sympathized with your feelings. BUT… Did you let those feelings drag you down or did you rally your troops, took the steps to the future and raised the flags with full colour?? Did you not take the steps and made them glow? Did you not enjoy what the future held? Did you not just say “DAMN! I made the right choice on that one!!!”…. Because that’s what this is about. Rally the troops, raise the flags and know that yes, you’re making the right choice. Just don’t let it all be pushed deep inside. Let the feelings glow and them put them out because the love and happiness in the future will over power all!!!!
Next blog…. Now what…
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